6 key essentials to working from home (with a baby)...

I haven't been doing this for long, but in my admittedly limited experience, I do feel that I've gained some wisdom that might benefit other work-from-home mothers.  Or maybe not.  But in either case, here they are...my 6 key essentials to working from home (with a baby)...

1).  Chocolate sandwich cookies.  Until recently, I would have said Oreos...accept no substitutes!  But Hansen went shopping at Aldi earlier this week, and I find that their off-brand variety, which boldly claims itself to be "Original," is quite satisfactory for the guy or gal on a budget.  If you're not in the habit of consuming these treats, and are wondering how they could possibly be included in a list of "key essentials," then I have to seriously question your ability to do anything at all.  These babies are key to daily function...period.  If you're not properly fueling your body with these miraculous munchies, you're doing yourself a great disservice.

2).  An Adorable Baby.  Yes...that's right...you cannot work from home with a baby if you do not, in fact, have a baby.  This is pretty basic stuff.  Technically, the "adorable" part is optional, but it helps.  And if the baby is yours, it's kind of a given that you'll find him or her adorable.  Most of the time.

3).  A Ferocious Guard Dog to bark incessantly at protect you and Adorable Baby from things like:  mail coming through the mail slot, cars driving down the street, imaginary noises.

4).  A healthy tolerance for crying, screeching, and/or barking (because of the two essentials listed above).  I actually think I tolerate these things better than the sports banter that can be overheard on a daily basis in the office.  At least crying and barking serve some sort of purpose.  Adorable Baby cries because he needs something, Ferocious Guard Dog barks (presumably) because someone or something made a noise without her permission.  But talking about sports?  I just don't get it.  Not that I don't enjoy watching sports on occasion.  I do.  But when the game is over...it's over, man.  Let it go.

5).  Silence.  Even if you have the aforementioned tolerance for Adorable Baby and/or Ferocious Guard Dog related noises, there's going to come a time (or several times) throughout the day when you just need some peace and quiet in which to think.  This silence can be hard to come by, but without it, you will likely get absolutely nothing accomplished.  Which is why I'm a strong advocate for...

6).  Naps.  Not for you.  You're supposed to be working.  For Adorable Baby.  Plus, studies have shown that naps can increase baby adorability (that's a word now...because I say so) by as much as 14%*.  Bonus for you!

Note:  There is a symbiotic relationship between silence and naps.  Silence fosters an ideal atmosphere in which to nap.  Naps, then, guarantee an additional period of silence, though for how long, you can never be sure.  So, work with it while you have it, and just pray that the mail doesn't come.

Mail delivery invariably shatters the blessed silence by stimulating barking, which can and often does, terminate the nap so violently that Adorable Baby is launched from peaceful slumber into panicked and wide-awake fits of crying faster than you can click "save" on that spreadsheet you've been crafting.  In such instances you'll likely have no other choice but to reach for key essential #1...the chocolate sandwich cookie.  Not for feeding Adorable Baby.  He's still nursing.  For you.  Seriously.  Eat it.  You'll feel better.

*I made that up.

My Excuse...

Well, it has been over a week since I’ve written.  So…my goal to post at least once a week…already failed.  And yet I soldier on.  I had every intention of writing last weekend, but here’s why that never happened… 

Last Friday was my and Hansen’s five year wedding anniversary.  We celebrated by going out to Shogun, in Rockford, IL, for some sushi and hibachi-grilled teriyaki chicken.  Nothing quite says “romance” like raw fish and a guy in a chef’s hat tossing spatulas in the air and shrimp in your mouth.  Not to brag, but I was the only one at the table that was able to actually catch the shrimp.  I really try not to waste seafood.  Or any food.  We were both incredibly tired after getting up around 3 AM and then working all day, but five years is a legitimate milestone and we weren’t about to let it go unnoticed.   

I was going to stop and get him a card on the way home from work, but I was running late (story of my life) and didn’t want to make us lose our dinner reservations.  I also was going to get him a little gift, but when I Googled traditional five year anniversary gifts on my lunch break earlier that day, I was informed that the traditional gifts are either wood or silverware.  I was tempted to cover both of those bases and get him a wooden spoon, but…nah.    Hansen told me that he got me a card and some Werther’s candies, but I’ve yet to see either of those things, so I don't feel so bad for not getting him anything (yet).  Am I painting a good picture of our romantic evening together for you?  I’m not complaining.  It was great!  Sammy was with Granny and Poupon (grandma and grandpa).  We had a couple of hours to ourselves and some good food.  It didn't involve leaking diapers or spit-up.  But it wasn’t a lingering, peaceful evening of wine and candle light, either.  Truth be told, we were kind of in a rush all night.  Partially because of me being late in getting home from work, and partially because we had to get up early the next morning. 

By 9 AM on Saturday morning, we were up, showered, dressed, packed, and in the car headed to Michigan.  I had been asked to do special music at a women's Bible study kickoff event at my friend's church in Fruitport.  And Hansen, being the wonderful husband that he is, agreed to accompany me, both with his presence on the trip, and with his guitar during the special music.  Commence family road trip!

We have taken family road trips in the past.  Even with Sammy.  Just this past June we drove to St. Louis and back for a wedding.  And Sammy did great.  Maybe 30 minutes of crying total for the whole round-trip.  Sadly, we did not get a repeat of that blissful trip this time around.  I planned to start writing my next blog post in the car (maybe about something sweet...like how much I love my husband...because I do).  It was, after all, supposed to be a four and a half hour trip.  What else would I do with all those peaceful hours of driving, right?  And the plan might have worked, had I started writing sooner.

Just to expedite the whole process of relaying the weekend's events, I'll give you a quick summary of the next couple of days from that point on (completely devoid of appropriate grammar):

Driving (this is when I should have started writing, but, alas, I did not), driving , fussing, lunch (Wendy's...Spicy Chicken Sandwich combo with fresh lemonade...Large...Deal with it!), diaper change for Sammy.  Driving, fussing, change seats to be next to baby.  Driving, fussing, FUSSING, stop in random parking lot to nurse baby.  Driving, fussing, FUSSING, SCREAMING, stop in random parking lot to walk baby around the perimeter.  Driving, Chinese fire drill driver change.  Driving, FUSSING, SCREAMING, SCREEEEAMING, stop in random parking lot to walk baby around the perimeter (the kid loves parking lots...who knew?).  Driving FUSSING, SCREAMING, SCREEEEEEAMING, SCREAMING, fussing, baby falls asleep.  Pull into town where we'll be staying for the rest of the weekend two minutes later.

Visit briefly with friends, eat dinner (Wendy's again...don't judge...same meal, only small...because I'm not completely without virtue!), sing at women's Bible study event (lovely...there was chocolate...even lovelier), visit briefly with friends, sleep.  Wake, nurse baby, sleep.  Wake, nurse baby, sleep.  Wake, shower, church, sing, lunch (Qdoba...not Chipotle, but it'll do in a pinch.  At least they have guac), visit briefly with friends, pack up the car, drive home.  Driving, driving, driving, fussing, stop for dinner (Panera...Mmmm.  Also, baby's first experience with squash soup. Success!), diaper change for Sammy.  Driving, driving, driving, fussing, fussing, FUSSING, FUSSING, SCREAMING, SCREEEEEAMING, SCREEEEEEAMING, stop at Walgreens in hopes of finding miracle cure for teething fussiness.  Failure.  Driving, driving, pick up dog at Granny and Poupon's house, eat second dinner (because I never turn down BLT's), drive home, unpack the car, put Sammy to bed, and finally, finally, finally get to bed ourselves.

So...that is my excuse for not writing last week.  It was so great to see my friends this past weekend.  I love them dearly and hate that it had been 5 years since we'd last spent time together.  I wish we'd had a little more time to just hang out together, but I was still so grateful, not only for the opportunity to visit with them (and meet their children for the first time), but also to sing and lead worship for the Bible study event, and at their church service the next day.  However, that being said, I will think twice before ever again scheduling a road trip while I have a teething baby on my hands. 

Note:  Almost all of the fussing, screaming, and SCREEEAMING were courtesy of our dear little Sammy, though it's possible that mom and/or dad may have joined in briefly at some point.  But, just to prove to you that he's not always as crabby as this post makes him sound, here's an adorable video of Sammy giving fist-bumps to his daddy:

I shall call it: Saturday Morning (for lack of a better title)

So...it's 5 AM.  And I've been up since 2:45.  Oh...and it's Saturday.  My parents would never recognize me.  Back when I was still living at home (I mean their home.  I live at home now, too, but it's my home...just wanted to clarify), I used to sleep through my alarm on a regular basis.  I don't mean that I would shut it off and then, consequently, oversleep...I mean I would literally sleep while the alarm went off next to me for who knows how long.  Sometimes the only thing that would wake me up would be my dad angrily shouting out my name from my parents' bedroom (next to mine), telling me to shut off the alarm.  So, I would shut it off and then go back to sleep.  Alarms have no real meaning to me.  I do not become alarmed.

I almost slept through a college dormitory fire alarm once.  Those things are designed to wake a completely drunk person up from a sound sleep.  For the record, I was not drunk.  I woke up because, in addition to the screeching alarm, my RA was calling out to me and pounding on the door, and my roommate was also trying to rouse me.  I asked if I could just stay in bed.  My roommate laughed (she was always very amused by me...even when I wasn't trying to be funny).  My RA told me no...that it wasn't a drill.  I was pretty sure I didn't care.  I think I would have stayed if they had let me.

Historically, I've had really poor judgement when I've just been woken up.  When my alarm went off, I wouldn't think, "Just five more minutes," and then hit the snooze button once or twice.  No.  I wouldn't think anything but, "Sound.  Make stop. [randomly push buttons on evil sound making device next to me]  Good.  I sleep now."  People have asked me, "Have you tried putting your alarm clock on the other side of the room so that you have to get up to turn it off?"  My response to them was that 1) doing so would only benefit me if the alarm actually woke me up in the first place (and the odds on that aren't great), and 2) yes...I've tried that...and it doesn't help.  I just get up, turn it off, and go back to bed...because, as I mentioned, I have really poor judgement when I've just been woken up.

Anyway...all this to say...I find it truly amazing that I've been able, for the most part, to keep up with my husband's new schedule these last few weeks.  Call it proof that God still works miracles and answers prayer.  Or maybe it's a result of being a lighter sleeper now that I'm a mother and have grown accustomed to waking up in the middle of the night to feed my son.  We'll see if it lasts.  I really hope it does, as the early morning hours that I put in doing stuff for work before Sammy wakes up really make my work from home days so much more manageable.  And so do afternoon naps...which, unfortunately, aren't always a given...but are oh-so-cute when they do happen.

Sammy fell asleep while nursing, so instead of putting him down (which I knew would wake him up), I just let him sleep on my lap while I worked.  Adorable!...even if my opinion IS biased!

Hansen is my hero, though.  I've been waking up with him and helping him get his lunch/breakfast together, but he actually gets up, gets showered and dressed, leaves the house, and physically works all day.  This week he will have put in 40 hours (in spite of the holiday on Monday) and about 20 hours of overtime.  Then there's me...patting myself on the back for waking up and sitting at a computer for a mere 40 hours per week.  He wins...hands down.  What a guy!

Well...the sun is about to rise, so I should probably get up and start doing something with my Saturday morning so that when Hansen gets home from work there might be some hope for a few hours of family fun.  I'm not sure what that will entail, since "fun" is a relative term based on our energy level at any given moment.  Maybe we will go to an apple orchard.  Or maybe we will take naps.