6 key essentials to working from home (with a baby)...

I haven't been doing this for long, but in my admittedly limited experience, I do feel that I've gained some wisdom that might benefit other work-from-home mothers.  Or maybe not.  But in either case, here they are...my 6 key essentials to working from home (with a baby)...

1).  Chocolate sandwich cookies.  Until recently, I would have said Oreos...accept no substitutes!  But Hansen went shopping at Aldi earlier this week, and I find that their off-brand variety, which boldly claims itself to be "Original," is quite satisfactory for the guy or gal on a budget.  If you're not in the habit of consuming these treats, and are wondering how they could possibly be included in a list of "key essentials," then I have to seriously question your ability to do anything at all.  These babies are key to daily function...period.  If you're not properly fueling your body with these miraculous munchies, you're doing yourself a great disservice.

2).  An Adorable Baby.  Yes...that's right...you cannot work from home with a baby if you do not, in fact, have a baby.  This is pretty basic stuff.  Technically, the "adorable" part is optional, but it helps.  And if the baby is yours, it's kind of a given that you'll find him or her adorable.  Most of the time.

3).  A Ferocious Guard Dog to bark incessantly at protect you and Adorable Baby from things like:  mail coming through the mail slot, cars driving down the street, imaginary noises.

4).  A healthy tolerance for crying, screeching, and/or barking (because of the two essentials listed above).  I actually think I tolerate these things better than the sports banter that can be overheard on a daily basis in the office.  At least crying and barking serve some sort of purpose.  Adorable Baby cries because he needs something, Ferocious Guard Dog barks (presumably) because someone or something made a noise without her permission.  But talking about sports?  I just don't get it.  Not that I don't enjoy watching sports on occasion.  I do.  But when the game is over...it's over, man.  Let it go.

5).  Silence.  Even if you have the aforementioned tolerance for Adorable Baby and/or Ferocious Guard Dog related noises, there's going to come a time (or several times) throughout the day when you just need some peace and quiet in which to think.  This silence can be hard to come by, but without it, you will likely get absolutely nothing accomplished.  Which is why I'm a strong advocate for...

6).  Naps.  Not for you.  You're supposed to be working.  For Adorable Baby.  Plus, studies have shown that naps can increase baby adorability (that's a word now...because I say so) by as much as 14%*.  Bonus for you!

Note:  There is a symbiotic relationship between silence and naps.  Silence fosters an ideal atmosphere in which to nap.  Naps, then, guarantee an additional period of silence, though for how long, you can never be sure.  So, work with it while you have it, and just pray that the mail doesn't come.

Mail delivery invariably shatters the blessed silence by stimulating barking, which can and often does, terminate the nap so violently that Adorable Baby is launched from peaceful slumber into panicked and wide-awake fits of crying faster than you can click "save" on that spreadsheet you've been crafting.  In such instances you'll likely have no other choice but to reach for key essential #1...the chocolate sandwich cookie.  Not for feeding Adorable Baby.  He's still nursing.  For you.  Seriously.  Eat it.  You'll feel better.

*I made that up.