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Thursday, August 21, 2014

Note to Self: Don't Screw this Up!

Okay...this is it.  The time is now.  No more thinking about it.  I'm starting this blog.  Doesn't matter that a giant spider (truly...giant...I don't exaggerate about these things) just tried to kill me.  Doesn't matter that I just tried to kill him back...and failed...and now have no idea where said giant spider may be lurking, as his heart boils with vengeful rage.  I'm doing it.  The baby is sleeping.  It's 6 pm and I'm actually done with work, at home, and in my pajamas.  Granted, I worked from home today, so I never actually changed out of my pajamas this morning, but that's beside the point.  These perfect circumstances may never align again to present me with such a grand opportunity, so I'm running with it.  Or writing with it.  Whatever.

I've been putting this off because I don't want to screw it up.  I decided about a week ago that I wanted to give this a shot, but I've been finding every excuse to NOT begin.  I'm not completely clueless about blogging (read:  I've Google searched the phrase "how to start a blog"), so I know I'm already doing it wrong.  I don't have a particular passion for a specific topic.  I'm not an expert in any field.  I have no knowledge to impart.  I just like to write.  I used to be good(ish) at it.  And I kind of, sort of think that I might like some people to read what I write.  Maybe.  We'll see.

So, in spite of the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm doing this wrong, here I am:  Laying next to my son on the floor of his bedroom (because he woke up about 20 minutes ago, shortly after I finished writing the first paragraph of this post), writing away.

There have been a lot of big changes in my life this year.  For starters, I gave birth to the sweetest little dude I've ever met, and I can't believe how completely I loved him from the very first minute I saw him.  Before that, actually.  He's now almost five months old, and judging by how often he's had my fingers in his mouth today, I'd say he's probably teething.  So, he hasn't been his most cheerful self this week.  But he also bursts out in a belly laugh whenever I make a sound like a chicken (which, consequently, I've been doing pretty frequently)...and it's just so perfect that I almost don't mind the inconsolable screaming that happened earlier this afternoon.

The second big change, related to the first, is that I have started working two days a week from home.  Since my office is over an hour away from where I live, it is such a relief to not have to drive in every day like I've been doing for the past six and a half years.  And it's saving me a lot of money...though where that money has gone, I haven't a clue.  Maybe Oreos and ice-cream?  Anyway, working from home, while also caring for a 5-month-old baby, has presented a whole host of new challenges.  And I expected that, really, I did.  But that doesn't make it any easier.

I've never before had to stop in the middle of a work day to change a poopy diaper which starts leaking through two layers of clothing almost before I have time to react, and quickly turns into a disaster that requires at least 30 minutes, a bath, and a completely new set of clothes.  Nor have I ever before stopped in the middle of a work day to let someone gnaw on my finger (don't worry I washed my hands after the diaper change).  But these things are important.  And I'm not about to let motherhood completely pass me by so that I can get my spreadsheets finished and log out of my computer by 4:30.  Which is why, until recently, it was not uncommon for my husband to come home from his job (managing a local restaurant) after closing up for the night to see me still plugging away at my computer in the late hours after my son had finally gone to bed for the night.  These are looong days!  But every hour I get to spend with my son is worth it.

The third and most recent change in my life is actually a change in my husband's life.  He recently left his job at the restaurant to accept a position in a completely different industry.  After tomorrow he will have completed his first week on the job.  And he's exhausted.  Working at the restaurant, the earliest he would typically have to report to work was 9:45 am...and more regularly it was 10:30 am.  Now he's rising before the sun so that he can be at work (half an hour away from our home) by 6 am. And the word on the street is that he'll likely have to regularly start work between 2 and 4 am after he completes this first week of training.  I shudder at the thought.  We're hoping that somewhere along the line this job will turn into something that is worth all the effort, something that will really benefit our family.  We're hoping it turns into one of those "good things never come easy" type situations that people are always talking about.  But in the meantime, it's just grueling...especially for two night owls like us.

It also means that we've had to secure child care for our son for the days of the week that I'm in the office...something we never had to do before because his restaurant hours could be worked around my schedule.  After two weeks of frantically searching for someone that I feel comfortable leaving my child with all day, and someone whose rates we could actually afford to pay, we finally decided on a care giver.  She's wonderful.  But I still don't like leaving my baby all day.

So, we're all adjusting; trying to find a new work/life balance that we feel satisfied with.  It doesn't really make sense that I would attempt to add blogging to my already overwhelming to do list, in my already overbooked schedule...especially when I have nothing in particular to say. And yet, I write on.  I mean, not today.  Today I'm done writing.  I have a mountain of clothes to fold.  But, you know, in the future...I'll write more inconsequential reflections on my personal life in the future.  And if you care to read them, you're more than welcome.


6 comments:

  1. LOVE this!! You are wonderful writer :) I would love to follow you!

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  2. You make me laugh with having to google search how to start a blog. People say to write about one topic in general but how can you. There is so much out there to write about. It looks like you and I will have something in common about our blogs, that "one topic" is about our lives. Keep up the blogging. I'll have to start following you. I am looking forward to your next post.

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    1. Thanks, Emily! I agree...it's too hard to write about just one thing. I've enjoyed reading some of your posts, too, and will continue to follow you! Thanks for the support!

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  3. Cherity told me to tell you that she sent me. Just stopped by to wish you luck with your blog. Here's some tips that seem to work for me.
    1.Write about what you are passionate about. That way you'll always have something to say. Because you'll always be learning new stuff.
    2.Be consistent. Set a schedule for your postings and stick to it. That way your readers will be able to follow you consistently. I would suggest to start posting once a week.
    3.Use your About page as a Mission Statement for your blog.
    4.Remember that bloggers are a part of a community. It's a great way to see what others care about. When you find interesting blogs that appeal to you, follow them. When you see a post you especially like, make a comment.
    5.Be patient. Give readers time to follow you.
    Good luck and welcome to the amazing world of blogging.

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